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March 19, 2013 / neiltheseal85

Belgium is the strangest country in the world

“If I grew up on a farm, and was retarded, Bruges might impress me but I didn’t, so it doesn’t.”

That’s how Colin Farrell described Bruges – or as he generally referred to it: “fucking Bruges” – In the 2008 film titled, strangely enough, In Bruges. Although Colin Farrell was only referring to one city, perhaps the same thing could be said about Belgium as a whole. Belgium is a strange and often forgotten little country which is famous mostly for unleashing Jean-Claude Van Damme onto the world and not much else. Sure they have waffles, chocolates and Tintin but really, what else is there?


There’s these

Whenever anybody says that they are going to Belgium, the standard response is generally “why?”. this may be because, according to some people, Belgium isn’t even a “real country”. It may also be because Belgium is a strange little country caught in-between neighbours that are far more interesting. Who in their right mind would go to Belgium when France, Germany, the UK and even the Netherlands are right there?


Pictured: not a real country

1 – The most boring place in the world

According to pretty much everybody, Belgium is a boring place. Even the Belgians agree and according to a recent survey, 60% of Belgians wish that they were born somewhere else.

Jeremy Clarkson – aka the mean one from Top Gear – did a (hilarious) documentary a few years back where he travelled to the UK’s neighbouring countries and took the piss out of them. In one episode Jeremy wanders the streets asking the locals whether they were glad to be born Belgian. He is absolutely shocked when after interviewing many people, he finds just one guy who is happy being Belgian. Even the guy dressed as a penguin preferred his status as a penguin to that of being Belgian.

Better than being Belgian

Better than being Belgian

Many countries are famous for having a national sport. Brazil is known for soccer, the Spanish are renowned for acting stupidly around bulls, and France is known for surrendering to the Germans. While Belgium doesn’t necessarily have a “national sport” they do really have some strange ones. If you believe Jeremy Clarkson, a typical Saturday in Belgium, usually involves a game which he calls “shit yourself rich”. This sport involves dividing a field up into an imaginary grid and everybody betting on where the cow will “have its first shit”. Don’t believe me? Watch the video below if you want a laugh.


2 – The culinary delights

If we learned anything from Pulp Fiction it taught us a really good place to hide a watch, and that they do things differently in Europe. In one scene, John Travolta is sitting in a car telling Samuel L Jackson all about a “Royale with cheese” and the metric system.

Vincent: You know what they put on French fries in Holland instead of  ketchup?

Jules: What?

Vincent: Mayonnaise.

Jules: Goddamn.

Vincent: I’ve seen em do it, man. They fuckin’ drown em in that shit.

What John Travolta/Vincent neglected to mention, is that the Belgians also love to drown their chips in Mayonnaise, in fact they practically invented it. Belgian chip kiosks often come with a wall of mayonnaise and sauce dispensers. After ordering your chips, which is simple enough, you are then expected to submerge your lunch under your choice of mayonnaise.

Would you like fries with that?

Would you like fries with that?

In fact fried potatoes are so popular in Belgium that it is considered their national dish. Moules-frites or mussels and fries may seem like a strange combination, but you try telling that to a Belgian.

They also eat this, whatever it's supposed to be

They also eat this, whatever it’s supposed to be

Belgium is also world famous for its strange and often highly alcoholic beers. Every town seems to have its own brewery (or several) and a surprisingly large number of these are brewed by monks who have taken a vow of silence, however in true Belgian style, the weirdness does not stop there. What is more strange than a bunch of religious guys silently making beer, is the names they give those beers. Of course there is the famous Hoegaarden, which in English sounds like… know. There are also others such as: Duvel (which means devil), Judas, Satan, Silly, Dulle Teve (which means mad bitch) and Delerium Tremens (which is what you will get from drinking too many of these) just to name a few.

3 – They hate themselves

Belgium has a total of three official languages, which for a country of around 11 million people is a real achievement  It is also an excellent way of making sure that nobody gets along. The northern half all speak Flemish (not phlegm-ish) which is just a fancy way of saying Dutch, while the bottom half speak French and a very small part of the population speaks German. To complicate things further, the capital Brussels and the region surrounding it is bilingual in Dutch and French, which means that all of the street signs must be in both languages. This may seem like it makes perfect sense, but often it results in some rather nonsensical repetition of words that are the same in both languages.

Gee I'm glad they translated that

Gee I’m glad they translated that

While the bilingual (or trilingual) thing may not initially seem like an issue, you can trust the Belgians to make it one. It seems that the French and Dutch hate each other so much – and everybody hates the Germans – that nobody can agree on anything. Since the Belgians can’t even decide on what to name a street, it’s not that surprising really that they can’t decide on a government either. The country currently holds the world record for not having a government. Which brings me to…

4 – Their government (or lack of it)

On February 17 in 2011, Belgium broke the world record for having no government (well really it was for going the longest period of time without having a new government voted in after an election). The country’s different language groups just can’t seem to get along about anything. After an election in 2010, the Belgians did what they were best at and disagreed to the point where no government could be formed. This carried on for some time, but after 249 days without a government, the Belgian people decided enough was enough and marched into the streets to spark a revolution.

Generally, when countries stage revolutions, they can often turn out to be violent and bloody. People march into the streets – or onto Twitter – and demand change. However in Belgium’s case – as with everything they do – their revolution was a little, well, different.


The Belgians held a ceremony, to celebrate eight government-free months and the handing over of the world record from the previous record holders, the Iraqis, to the Belgians. Now, before you accuse the Belgians of not taking this situation seriously, you should realise that more drastic steps were taken. On the same night, began the “Fries Revolution”. Belgians marched into the streets and angrily ate fries to protest their lack of government.

Surprisingly, this “revolution” did not have the desired result of  ending the political stalemate and forming a new government. Which is odd really, because what better way is there to say “we are angry” than to march into the streets and eat chips? In fact it wasn’t until much later that that actually happened.

Feel my wrath

I am angry!

It wasn’t until a full 541 days of negotiations that a new government was finally elected. And the person that they finally elected  to run the country could  barely even speak Dutch! Which shouldn’t really matter as it’s only spoken by around 60% of the population.

5 – The monuments

Some countries are so famous for their monuments that you can’t mentally the place from the landmark. Who could imagine France without the Eiffel Tower coming to mind, or Egypt without the pyramids? Belgium however is not one of those countries.

Perhaps Belgium’s most famous “monument” (I use that term lightly) is the pint-sized fountain Manneken Pis. Some of you out there who (like me) are particularly immature would look at the name and say something intelligent, along the lines of: “Haha, it has the word piss in it”. Well, if you laughed at the name of the statue, don’t feel alone, the city of Brussels – the country’s CAPITAL – is laughing along with you.

Haha, he is weeing

That’s right, Manneken Pis is a statue of a little boy pissing. Before you think that this is some random statue in an out of the way corner of the city, think again. Manneken Pis, the little boy pissing into a fountain, is actually the symbol of Brussels. In addition to this insanity, the residents of Brussels regularly dress up little Manneken to celebrate special occasions and there is even a museum that houses over 800 of his outfits.

Following in this proud tradition, Brussels also recently introduced a female counterpart to Manneken Pis: Jeanekke Pis. This statue of a little girl squatting was erected in 1987 and, like her male counterpart, little Jeanekke is also a functioning fountain which “urinates” water with a look of apparent joy, literally etched onto her face.

Grow up belgium

Grow up Belgium

Another weird monument can be found in Antwerp, the Flemish capital of Belgium. Antwerp’s main square boats a large statue of a man named Brabo cutting off a giant’s hand. Of course, as it is apparently compulsory in Belgium, the statue is a fountain and water gushes out of the giant’s severed hand as if it was created by Quentin Tarantino. In fact, this statue is so central to Antwerp’s identiy as a city that many believe that this is how the city got its name. The Dutch name for the city: Antwerpen, apparently comes from the combination of the words “hand” and “werpen” meaning “hand throw”.

Let's name our city after this

Let’s name our city after this

I could go on forever about the weird and wonderful monuments in this crazy little county but I will try to wrap this up. Other cities too boast strange monuments, such as Ghent’s cannon with a stuffed toy inside, Bruges with its mysterious upside-down cannon and and Brussels’ Atomium which is is an indescribable large silver monument of sticks and balls.


Concluding comments.

Before I finish, I would just like to ask you the reader a quick question. Without checking Wikipedia, do you know what Belgium’s national anthem is? The answer is La Brabançonne. If you couldn’t answer that don’t worry you’re not alone. The former Belgian prime minister doesn’t know the national anthem either.

If anybody ever made a film documenting the history of Belgium, it would have to be narrated by Inspector Clouseau.

Did this article make you angry? Then you should read “Belgium, the country that can’t take a joke”.



Leave a Comment
  1. David Copham / May 29 2016 8:11 am

    Belgium is perhaps the world’s most misunderstood nation, but also one of its most fascinating, punching far above its weight in all sorts of ways. With three official languages, and an intense regional rivalry between the Flemish-speaking north and the French-speaking south that perpetually threatens to split the country in two, it’s actually a miracle that Belgium exists at all. But its historic cities – most famously Brussels, Bruges, Antwerp and Ghent – are the equal of any in Europe; and its cuisine is reason alone to justify a visit, with a host of wonderful regional specialities. Belgium also boasts some pockets of truly beautiful countryside in its hilly, wooded south and the flatter north – and, perhaps most famously, it produces the most diverse range of beers of any country on the planet. Many outsiders view Belgium as good weekend-break material, but not much else – which is a pity, as this is historically one of the most complex and intriguing parts of Europe. Squeezed in between France, Germany and the Netherlands, Belgium occupies a spot that has often decided the European balance of power. It was here that the Romans shared an important border with the Germanic tribes to the north; here that the Spanish Habsburgs finally met their match in the Protestant rebels of the Netherlands; here that Napoleon was finally defeated at the Battle of Waterloo; and – most famously – here, too, that the British and Belgians slugged it out with the Germans in World War I. Indeed so many powers have had an interest in this region that it was only in 1830 that Belgium became a separate, independent state.

    Read more:

  2. NoFuckGiven / Jun 6 2016 8:10 pm

    Who gives a shit about a nobody stating an opinion on a site nobody ever visits anyway.

    • Yvad / May 11 2017 6:38 pm

      you, apparently.

  3. kate / Jul 16 2016 4:06 am

    Sorry but I do not like Belgium or the attitudes- the culture is either catholic religion or atheist… very chauvinistic and if I said that in Belgium I would be breaking a law. all they eat is meat and fries and drink beer. incest also seems to be prevalent and pedophilia among catholic priests

    • mentalparadoxTim / Aug 18 2016 12:50 pm

      Judging by your attitude towards people with a faith (or lack thereof) differing from your own, perhaps a country with more bigots in it would be more your thing, indeed.

  4. francoise2016 / Jul 30 2016 3:34 am

    Belgians? They are the worst racist ever!
    Here the human zoo and the African kid in the cage!

    • Sarah / Sep 21 2016 9:23 am

      “Damn all Germans are murders because Hitler was a German!” I know an idiot and non-true comment. Just like yours.

      • Alexander huyghe / Sep 19 2018 2:07 am


  5. Moru / Aug 16 2016 5:48 am

    The title is a bit confusing .. apparently the writer has not been to so many countries in the world .. well I have been to like 13 european countries and I lived in Portugal, Belgium and now in Norway .. I should say that Belgium is the best among the other two .. and I totally disagree with many of the things mentioned in the post .. probably the writer has encountered a bad experience in Belgium for one reason or another .. but it can happen anywhere .. and it doesn’t give someone the right to underestimate someone’s else country or culture .. viva Belgium 🙂

    • memyselfandI / Aug 16 2016 6:53 am

      Has anyone ever noticed that besides Belgium’s famous exports of fries, chocolates and beer they also internationally renowned for their astronomical taxes, pedophilia and terrorism?

      Wow… I mean, WOW! I guess the fries and mayonnaise must be really THAT awesome to justify living in that sh*thole.

      • mentalparadoxTim / Aug 18 2016 12:56 pm

        The taxes are high, but what we get in return is worth it. Taxes are even higher in Scandinavian countries, and they are among the most prosperous on Earth.

        The terrorist issue a real one, our government is lax and lets in migrants without too many (if any) background checks. We have entire ghettos of Muslims were extremists can plan attacks and the police dare not venture.

        Pedophilia, I have no idea what you are talking about. Dutroux? He was arrested. That was ONE guy. It may have been a high-profile case, but I’m know for a fact many other countries have pedophiles, and to suggest pedophilia is somehow more of an issue here than anywhere else makes no rational sense. The priests? Blame the church, not the country. State and church are separate, you know.

        • John / Aug 18 2016 5:56 pm

          Agreed, the pedophilia issue is not really specific to Belgium and has more to do with human nature than the country itself.

          Same with the terrorism thing, to a lesser extent perhaps, more a geopolitical thing, made worse by the social-democratic local BRU governments laziness & greed coupled with lacklustre police governance.

          Not sure how you figure that what we get ‘back’ for the high taxes are worth it…
          You get sucked dry by a mafia-state who need all these high taxes to fund their own passive public servants, so in the end there are no funds left for the middle classes anymore – roads, public convenience, cultural funding, sports infrastructure…. all things in which BE is severly lacking compared to it’s LOWER-Taxed neighbours

        • Yvad / May 11 2017 7:16 pm

          to argue that taxes create prosperity, is like arguing sacrificing people is why central america has hot temperatures.

      • Alexander huyghe / Sep 19 2018 2:11 am

        @memyselfandi just end your life man nobody finds you even a little bit funny. Please dont answer this comment it would be too much cringe

      • Your a dom cunt / Jul 11 2019 8:42 am

        Yea sure thing domshit ya now that we here in Belgium are probably 1 of best places to live in xD ya now that we here in belgium have a way better live then alot of atjor country’s just dont post shit about my country f ya did not. Now a thing i mean lol then the USA i hell ther isnt a month without school shootings does that mean the usa is shit no so dont fucking start bluring shit on Belgium your just jealous of how goed or country is compared to yours and thats a fact

  6. John / Aug 17 2016 7:10 pm

    But why really care about the beer, chocolates or castles (what a totally inane fact to promote a country with, btw) when some of the BASICS of quality life are lacking?

    Unless you ARE actually Belgian yourself and well integrated into the social scene, you will be met with skepticism and often even passive-aggressive xenophobia by most locals.

    Culturally, Belgium is severely lacking compared to its European cousins, opportunities to discover music (other than summer festivals), theatre, exotic cuisine or other cultures are very limited and this seems to go hand in hand with a very uninterested worldly outlook shared by the Belgian people.

    Nobody is concerned with improving anything, it is the ultimate European mediocrity. Everyone has to fit into the same pre-approved, generic mould, and this makes for a rather unsatisfying social life for anyone interested in more than just soaps, reality TV and discussions on who has the nicest house/car.

    So much money is spent on keeping all the silly individual governments going that no funds are left to actually improve infrastructure or life for the tax-paying people.

    And by the way I have lived in BE for 25yrs, speak the language, have a normal job (no EU commission etc) and married into a Belgian family, I’m not exactly speaking as an expat here, and my views are shared by many open-minded Belgians, incidentally.
    in the

    • mentalparadoxTim / Aug 18 2016 1:01 pm

      “And by the way I have lived in BE for 25yrs, speak the language, have a normal job (no EU commission etc) and married into a Belgian family, I’m not exactly speaking as an expat here, and my views are shared by many open-minded Belgians, incidentally.”

      Suuure. You sound like the average small-minded American, crapping on smaller countries to make yourself feel better. Oh, aren’t you clever. What’d you expect for an arrogant post like that? A medal?

      If the country is so bad, why don’t you get out? And divorce your “wife” while you’re at it, as you clearly think she belongs to an inferior breed.

      • John / Aug 18 2016 5:37 pm

        Lange tenen, Tim? Certainly looks like it. Another Vlaming who can’t take any criticism?

        I also did all my secondary schooling and higher edu in Belgium, at (Flemish speaking) Belgian institutions, incidentally, and have grown up in several EU countries so the ‘crapping on smaller countries just for the hell of it’ just doesn’t really compute.
        You’ll have to find a different foreigner insult – surely you’re smarter than that & can do better than ‘small minded Yank’??

        Your country has some intrinsic, ground level cultural dysfunctions. And sure, every country has these, but is that a good reason to NOT try to improve anything?! Being blind to (and terrified of) criticism is part of what got Belgium into the mess it currently finds itself.

        Belgium indeed has plenty of positives (see above for your compatriots’ harping on about the beer, architecture, music festivals & all the other ‘essential’ things for a fulfilling life…), mainly healthcare and a good work/private life balance, but the negatives are slowly starting to outweigh some of your countries benefits I’m afraid.

        And if you can’t see it then it just validates my point, really. Doe je ogen es open, Tim!

      • timmy you inferior piece of rat. YOUR POLISHED turd of a country is at the end of the day still a big messy diary infested bowl of excrement, ie a TURD. Accept it get over it enjoy it!

  7. mentalparadoxTim / Aug 18 2016 1:03 pm

    Just another arrogant foreigner coming to crap on things he does not understand.

    • Badgerfucker / Nov 19 2017 12:19 am

      Just another Belgian that can’t take a joke, has an inferiority complex and is looking to blame his own insecurities on someone else. Grow the fuck up, all of you.

      • merewynne / Nov 19 2017 2:13 am

        There is a logical reason for their insecurities and inferiority complex… Belgium is a false country created as a buffer zone between then warring nations. It has only served as a speed bump for the Germans into France twice now and wartime occupation has shown that neighbours turn against neighbours. That’s why they love to be so nosy about everyone’s damn business… so they can rat each other out and relish in the pain and discomfort of others as their own personal comedy hour. Helping out thy neighbour was punished back then and I believe the culture of “shit on thy neighbour” has only persisted throughout the decades.

        At least the other surrounding nations “grew up”.

        • Lukn79 / Oct 21 2019 5:20 pm

          Yeah we were created for the sole purpose to have a buffer? How about the fact that whoever’s try to rule over us we were always a pain in the ass and deserved our own country.
          Maybe the government is beyond fucked up but I’m sure change is comming

  8. annebillson / Aug 18 2016 8:01 pm

    Actually, Belgium is pretty cool. Dr. Evil is half-Belgian.
    Also has the best bars (and the best beer) in western Europe.

  9. Bruno / Aug 19 2016 3:34 am

    After having read the full text, I would have to say congratulations for an analysis that is, as far as the political points are concerned, quite correct. But let’s not discuss the taste in food or monuments, that is not relevant to the fact that belgium is not a nice place to live in.

    One thing you might want to add: the multitude of governments and sheer number of politicians (try making a headcount) means that belgium is a (pardon my French) fckng banana country where honest hard working people have to give more than half of their income to all sorts of taxes. No I am not kidding: more than half. I’m an accountant working in belgium after all, so I know what I’m talking about.

    Add to that a justice department not worth the name “justice” (it’s not worth a capital J and neither is the word “belgium”). Indeed, drive a bit too fast on a freeway and you get a fine in your mailbox a few days later. But murder innocent children (like marc dutroux did) and it takes several years for “justice” department to reach a verdict. And then it’s even likely he will get out sooner or later. Procedural mistakes ensure drug dealers simply walk free – a few years ago a gang of 46 drug dealers simply walked free because the procedure for phone taps was not justified enough, altough the proofs gathered by other means were convincing enough. Employees working for the belgian state, for instance police officers, inform me that they have to buy computers and printers themselves instead of being issued their material by their employer (after all, belgian law states that an employer has to provide employees with the material necessary for them to do their jobs)

    I am frankly ASHAMED to have belgian nationality. I wish indeed I was born somewhere else.

    I will soon be moving out. I really had it here. I don’t know where yet, but I’m sure I WILL get the hell out of this banana country. And pay an honest ad justified percentage of taxes in another country.

    Ah yes, for people abroad reading this, try the following. Go to any browser and type “” (that means See where you arrive after that 🙂

    Have a nice day 🙂

    • Yvad / May 11 2017 7:21 pm

      it’s weird that comments like yours get downvoted, because you don’t offer insulting but a well thought out response.

      i arrived in belgium as a baby due to adoption, yet now in my late twenties i find myself dreaming about leaving here as well.

      to avoid the taxes, almost everywhere is better than here.
      another thing, we became the terrorist hotspot of europe
      and really that doesn’t surprise me a bit, it was already known 30 yrs ago it would become like this, but the only people acknowledging this were burned as heretics, the only politicians touching upon the subject where “far right”‘…

      better to go after a few beerhooligan nazi’s in vrt docus and look what we got now..

      regarding the drugdealers you miss a thing: the problem is the drug war.
      it’s always funny that we have these fascists who always talk touch about “illegal drugs” but then promote or are addicted to, the hard drug that shaped the christian west: alcohol.

      furthermore, the link is entirely on spot.

  10. Clair Compeau / Sep 4 2016 3:12 am

    Merely wanna say that this is extremely helpful, Thanks for taking your time to write this.

  11. linjiang@wonder / Sep 13 2016 3:20 am

    This is really amusing, there are so many other things like the enormous amount of company cars, crazy traffic and people come from a village, go to college in big(ger) cities and then afterwards buying a house in the village again…

    In general I like Belgians a lot, I just finished writing an article about the difference in people from Flanders and Wallonia, feel free to have a look here:


  12. Max / Sep 21 2016 9:12 am

    Dude.. seriously.. even I know that Belgium is known for its fries. Fries are originally from Belgium and not from France.
    And I have no idea where you did you’re research from but some things that are written in this article are not 100% correct.

    • Max / Sep 21 2016 9:13 am

      Your research*

    • Yvad / May 11 2017 7:22 pm

      the fries were actually invented by theresa of avila in spain. which suits the fact that patat frites appeared first in spain after arriving from america, and the galician cuisine of frying, much more integrated than in the belgian cuisine at the time.

  13. Saartje / Sep 23 2016 12:47 am

    I don’t really get why some belgian posts are about the writer and him being racist, I’m from Belgium myself and I thought that there was nothing really wrong about the writer, he just has very stereotypical opinions but he brings them in a funny way, I got worked up from the comments, they were much worse and they looked like they were 320% serious (they probably were) xD

    Sorry for my English (I’m only a 15yo girl from Belgium xP)

  14. xyerlinx / Oct 8 2016 10:21 pm

    Seems like this lil’ shit only looked up the bad things about Belgium and just ignored the rest. Well… I wouldn’t really know either what to do if i was a little bitch like this person. I think wasting my time bc obviously i don’t have a life was a good idea 😉

  15. Mortensen / Dec 11 2016 2:21 am

    A useless country indeed! As well as Holand! Why would you want to go to Holand for? Crap cheese, crap beer, crap everything. I might understand that though, if you are a junkie or you can’t pull a girl. So, the only way you can have a feel of what having girl(friend) feels like, is through a prostitute. Then, in that case, Holand the place for you!

  16. Manon / Jan 22 2017 10:25 am

    I’m from Belgium, and I have to say, half of this article is crap…
    – Belgian people don’t have a national sport, but we don’t play the game ‘shit yourself rich’,
    actually we play a lot of soccer, but we call it football (voetbal).
    – French fries are from Belgium. When the Belgians invented French fries, Belgium wasn’t independent and it was a part of France. And about the mayonnaise, it’s a good combination, but i like Andalouse sauce even more, in Belgium we have a LOT of sauces.
    -Mussels and French fries are like the BEST thing ever, you should try it!!
    -Okay, so we have 3 languages. But, like that is a good thing…
    Like in our schools we speak perfectly French, and get in Elementary school.
    – I have to say that we don’t have a spectacular monument, but we do have beatiful architecture, this is a link to a really nice place in Brussels :
    -The niveau in school is really nice and we get a lot of languages
    So, I get that it was also a little best sarcasm in the article, but for the ones that take it too seriously…

    Thanks xx

    • Yvad / May 11 2017 6:27 pm

      “belgium was part of france back then”.
      while it can not be denied that culturally and politically there has always been a movement that wanted to see this, and economically we partially are part of france as well…

      we never were officially a part of france
      wiki has a far better explanation of the etymology

      you can’t deny that mayo is the most typical and popular sauce for fries in this country.

      “Okay, so we have 3 languages. But, like that is a good thing…
      Like in our schools we speak perfectly French, and get in Elementary school.”

      the german part was stolen after world war 1, and they don’t belong here, they want to be part of germany themselves again.

      the french speakers don’t speak dutch and refuse to learn it.

      “we do have beatiful architecture, this is a link to a really nice place in Brussels”

      ugly modernist shit in all our cities nowadays

      “The niveau in school is really nice and we get a lot of languages”
      the only thing our schools breed is nihilistic white drug using teens and jihadis among the allochtones.

  17. beuterstuete / Jan 28 2017 4:23 pm

    Belgium is the best place in the world wth the best chocolate,the best beer and the best food,and let’s not forget,the best social security system…my mother-in-law used to be french (yucky) and she changed her nationality to belgian because she has a way bigger retirement-pension over here.My wife used to be muslim,now happily atheist,no problem around here,they won’t chop off her head because of that,I myself I worked for 15 years,even though I had a TBI in 1992,a few years ago I quit my job for medical reasons and now I am taken care of by the state who gives me aa stunning 2400 euros to stay at home,medicare is almost free,I pay 1 euro for a doctor’s visit and I drive a young Merceds-Benz….and by the way,I put as much mayonnaise on my fries as I want to…

    • Yvad / May 11 2017 6:37 pm

      “My wife used to be muslim,now happily atheist,no problem around here”
      this he says after two years of kebab attacks. this type of denial of reality is what makes europeans the worst.

  18. Thomas Crohain / Mar 2 2017 9:41 am

    We can do nothing for you, all is completly false. Travel dude!

    Guess a Trump supporter.

  19. Pet collar online / Mar 15 2017 8:27 pm

    Thanks for sharing such great post about cats. The social adaptations of dogs and humans are same enough that pets can live perfectly happy lives surrounded by humans and vice versa. Dogs are pampered with the best of food and medical care, frequently sleeping in their owners’ comfortable beds.

  20. Perry Mason / Apr 13 2017 2:57 am

    it is funny because it is true. Only good thing is the health care system, rest it just plain crap. It is really sad people defending the gastronomy here when it is absolutely crap.

    • merewynne / Apr 13 2017 4:54 am

      The health care system is “good”??? You mean the one that f**ked up my knee so bad I needed 3 surgeries and they still didn’t get it right? Say thank you to the “specialist” of all wallonia for that one… I’m still paying for that massive f**k-up. Or you mean the system that makes you wait 6 months minimum to see a specialist for an urgent (but not emergency) need?

      Thank God I left that country… I now can see whatever PROPERLY TRAINED doctor I need with very little wait, if any.

      For those of us who work our a**es off, paying into socialist systems and not getting anything back when you really need it… well, it just sucks big time hairy donkey balls.

  21. Jean Caverness / Jun 18 2017 9:01 pm

    Receiving lessons from stupid Anglo-saxons … My god ! This is priceless ! They know nothing about nothing, living in their english speaking world ignoring arts, music, fashion, real cocking (not this stupid world food on british TV with 33 different spices and 7 veggies, mishmash of low quality ingredients to create something which is only “beautiful” …) out of this world, uneducated, arrogant, agressive, making wars for centuries all over the world to control others…

    The ice on the cake was this critics on medical system… LOL ! We receive people from all over the world (and it costs a lot) who benefit high class medical care for low prices (thanks to our taxes !).
    Please don’t talk about the NHS or stupid unfair american private system. We have no lesson to receive from people like this bench of stupid mad cows reacting here.

    I feel I’m so superior to these people with their sh.t beer, food, young women dressed like whore to go to a party, Readers of ugly Rupert Mordock “press” for stupid guys…

    Concerning our so-called “hate” between us, and unability to speak “Dutch” for French speaking, do you really think the Swiss german speaking president is able to talk in Italian ? Or the Italian speaking president of the Swiss confederation able to speak German ? No they are not. But 95 % of anglo-saxon moronic world are unable to speak an other langage. And try to give us lessons ???

    In cultural “foreign” countries like France, Belgian artists are stars : Virginie Efira, Cécile de France, Benoit Poelvoorde, Jeremie Renier, Natacha Amal, Marie Gillain, François Damiens, Yoland Moreau, the Dardenne brothers and so on and on.
    The queen of journalism, Christine Ockrent was Belgian. Today, Alex Wiczorek, Charline Vanhoenacker, Guillermo Guiz are everywhere on TV and radio shows.
    And I’m sure, that’s the same for Dutch speaking in the smaller Netherland artists market.

    But who knows that in your sh…t countries ?

    Go to hell morons ! We don’t need you here, your racists hooligans, your alcoolic uneducated tourists, and Daily Mail or Sun readers. You are pathetic !

  22. Hooreca / Jun 24 2017 11:12 pm

    Sure and banking system is arrogant and crappy. Trash bags are collected from street after stank it for one day. And restaurants that run by goons no standards here at all.. shop open only for the elderly.. life is very poor here .. and mainly feels like under developed country . Nanny state

  23. Alireza / Jul 24 2017 5:53 pm

    I am not a Belgian, but this summation of random insults doesn’t really qualify as an article! You can’t just mention random bad/strange things about a country and draw conclusions.
    I can say Americans eat fried butter, are the most over-weight country in the world, leave their veterans without heathcare and have Donald Trump as their president, without looking at the nice things about the US and draw the same conclusions.
    One can literally do this about any random country in the world.

  24. Lies / Aug 10 2017 12:08 am

    Loved it.
    We are complex indeed, though, we won’t admit it.
    We are very critical towards our country, but we can’t have it when someone from “outside” attacks it.
    We hardly ever agree, but we agree on that.

  25. van Buuren / Aug 30 2017 5:50 pm

    It’s not so much the weather that makes Belgium depressing but the crappy and filthy looking streets and houses, the strange out-of-touch people and the appalling bureauacy and lack of service. It’s like nobody seems to care or feel embarrassed that their country is like this. The drab, grey and badly kept buildings – certainly on the coast – is actullay worse than any former East-Block country.
    I just hate having to go to Belgium for business, the people are so arrogant especially in Brussels.
    It is such a terribly sad an miserable country. It’s really shocking.

  26. kasapa / Sep 27 2017 5:51 am

    this article is the proof of bad journalism. Learn your history before walking

  27. Cecilia Vu / Sep 29 2017 1:11 am

    What nonsense is this article ? People here are really sincerely friendly not being bullshit like these western countries . If you ask for help , they go out of their way to help you . Also , it’s not a original country and everyone migrated here so everyone takes things into consideration not to offence each other’s . They speak two languages fluently , their level of education is high yet they are very humble !

    Guess whoever wrote this piece of crap is either English or one of these Westerner think they are greater then the rest of the world . Pathetic !!!!!!

    PS : my background is Asian but I have been all over the world , Belgians are one of my most favarite people 🙂

  28. Silvia Martin / Oct 3 2017 7:48 pm

    Hi! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your blog post (and the one about the Belgian lack of sense of humour). Thumbs up, people should start getting the point (hey, people, activate some brain cells here) that a blog post is a personal opinion (yours happens to be hilarious to read and very well written), and that we all have the right to express ourselves and our views about the countries we visited and people we meet. People who are offended are required to express their views in a polite way (and hopefully funny and well written) way, too. We all have our personal knowledge and live things differently. I myself, totally recognize everything that makes you laugh about this country and fully subscribe. Because I feel the same. And Colin Farrell may not be my favourite actor, but in one sentence, he managed to nail down something many people think and don’t quite say. I chose to live in Belgium because it offers a comfortable life and there are some things that I don’t mind about it. But no, it is not the most exciting place to be – the Belgian idea of fun seems to be hanging around at a fun fair and having frites and beer – and I have been around for about 16 years to notice all that. It is an interesting place from the point of view that some things will never cease to amaze me, not all positive, of course. Like any place, indeed. But generally speaking, people do not like changes, are content with what they have, stay around the house more than travel or go to Gran Canaria (every year!) for holidays, marry the person from the village next door, have 3 kids and do a 9-5 job (with many brakes in-between), of which they inevitable complain. With a good health system and tax allowance aplenty for the unemployed (with a tendency to actually encourage that), it could be Paradise. If you are 80 years old and this is what you’re looking for. But it is easy to take a flight to somewhere else (or drive to the happier neighbours) and this justifies why some people decide to stay here.

  29. Miguel / Oct 11 2017 5:38 am

    I’ve just been to Belgium for the first time and I was very surprised to see how friendly the Belgians are. They are super friendly, just like the Dutch. Certainly much friendlier than the Germans or the English.
    I don’t know what’s the deal with mocking these little things about Belgium, because a country’s own people is far more of a positive for me than the national food or national sport… Who cares about a country with great food but with rude or distant people, I certainly wouldn’t be that interested.
    Go Belgium!!!! I am glad to have come here.

  30. Alim / Oct 24 2017 8:01 pm

    too bad, myself think that belgium is a beautiful city, i’m living in Liege now,I came from Indonesia, and somehow I wish that i was born in here, i think it’s not only belgian itself, it’s normal for human for wanting something that they don’t have . , e.g= Belgians wish that they were born somewhere else. .. some people in Indonesia also wish that they were born somewhere else (me,hahaha)

    • merewynne / Nov 18 2017 4:41 pm

      Belgium is that narcissistic manipulative boyfriend that wants you to believe in sunshine and roses, but in the end destroys your life and takes your soul. After years together you’re left empty-handed wondering what YOU did wrong and what YOU could have done better to save the doomed relationship. “If only I had done this or that….” Nothing you can ever do will be good enough for Blah-gium or their f**ked up people. They will never accept a foreigner as their own, no matter how well you assimilate (think Borg, here) and pay (and pay and pay and pay) for your rightful place in society.

      I left 4 years ago, and their f**ked up administrative system still hasn’t got their s**t together… they are still chasing me for a million forms and procedures that I finalised years ago but they keep losing. Their nosy asses want to know every little tiny detail of your private life, even for stuff they have no business knowing. I remember the “agent du cartier” snooping around in my underwear drawer, literally pulling my lingerie out, just to make sure I was really living there and not housing a million illegals under my roof! And for info, I’m a Western European white-collar freelancer…. not a stereotypical illegal foreigner that came to “profit” from their social system. I contributed more than my fair share to their f**ked up social system for many years, and when time came to get some back, when I REALLY needed some help, their answer was “mais madame, vous n’êtes pas belge donc on ne peut pas vous aider.” (Close your eyes and imagine the villageois francophone accent that sounds like chickens clucking).

      I wasted 20 years of my life on those poor, sorry, filthy excuses for a country and for people. They took EVERYTHING from me… yes, everything. I left the country penniless and physically & mentally destroyed. I am still trying to recover financially, as well as from illnesses and injuries I got from that place.

      • Emmeh / Oct 7 2020 12:25 pm

        There nosy asses smelled you are a Troll

    • yes its a beautiful C I T Y. Why are Belgians so retarded? I think due to upbringing.

  31. Jef / Mar 19 2018 7:04 am

    You need to do alot more research, because over half of the shit you put in this “blog” is wrong. Maybe try finding things on a different website then wikipedia. This is just very ofensive to people who live in Belgium. You should be ashamed of yourself. FUCK YOU!

  32. Güendo / May 28 2018 12:23 am

    Thanks for the good time I spent reading this review to Belgium 👏🏼 But I’ve realized that you have no idea what you’re saying. I am Spanish and have been living for 5 years in Belgium. Time sucks but this country has one of the most exquisite gastronomies in the area. Go and analyze the cuisine in the UK and then we’ll talk. And by the way I advise you to leave that bitterness and come to enjoy some good Belgian beers, a good stew or chocolate, which by the way, is one of the best in the world along with their beer

  33. Roel / Jul 18 2018 11:26 pm

    This is all bullshit..

    • I agree your country, culture , are all bullshit finally a ‘smart’ belgshit

      • Emmeh / Oct 7 2020 12:14 pm

        People who are intellectuel gifted or people with normal social behaviour dont bully other countries like a angry child.You are just a troll
        Most hate comments to Belgium are Trolls from a neighbour country that are hating Belgium for no reason.
        They do it out frustration .
        They just pick the friendly people’s country because they have no balls to attack France or Germany.
        You are a big jealous piece of shit
        Not accepting a small country makes it to
        Many are jealous of Brussels NATO .

        Are you actually sick in you’re head?
        I’m a German woman living in Belgium (with one of the most underrated people in the world).So foreigners dont believe this racist “joke” article Blog.
        This person just loves to spit on Belgium
        Like Hitler chosed Jews as victims.
        To heal his own unsecurities
        This person wants to make Belgians small.
        But it wont work =)
        Go wash you’re mouth
        All that came out is shit you bloody racist!

  34. Alexander huyghe / Sep 19 2018 2:03 am

    Look man we in belgium, well we arent perfect and we are able to live with it. You dont now how hard it is to live in a country with 3 diffrent types of people: franch farmers, high class bitches(flemisch) and also them german people. But our country, we like to make jokes take it from a 13 year old. We just love beer and fries please just try to live with that if you think im rong please i would like if you emailed me:

  35. LEO DE CLERCQ / Dec 31 2018 3:23 am

    and which country does the original writer of this article come from? no doubt a perfect country.
    btw. Jeremy Clarkson is as good a reference as Farage and Boris Johnson.

    • Leo you dove fucking piglet white pig I hope you die a awful death and your country gets destroyed. Fun fact Belgian bitches gave up fighting against germans after a week or so in ww2. They are basically major bitches. Luxemburg after one day lmaooooooooooooo

      • Oxnard / Apr 3 2019 4:22 am

        Don’t choke on that rage there, keyboard warrior. Maybe internalize a bit of that hatred. It sounds like you could use it.

  36. Al / Mar 25 2019 11:48 pm

    so many bad thoughts and words about a country so beautiful…

  37. As a longtime expat in Belgium (20 years sadly) I want to commend you for opening the door on this magnified shithol (aka Belgium). It has a genocidal past (still calls many big avenues to honour their genocidal maniac king). Weather sucks, people suck, food sucks and their beer is like cold piss. If a meteor strikes earth I would gladly give it the coordinates of this Shithole. I hate this country and sadly had to stay put due to personal reasons, but will be out in a few months. Oh did I say their women are shit? And their guys have all micropenises judging by the size of condoms mostly on sale. I hope to trigger all those pesky ‘nationalistic’ pelgian keyboard warriors I hope you choke on Brussels sprout (:

    • Oxnard / Apr 3 2019 4:31 am

      What exactly is a magnified shithol? Spain, Israel, France, UK, USA (and quite a few more) have genocidal pasts. Many still have statues of those assholes, and many have streets named after assholes. This is not uniquely Belgium. The weather sucks in many places. The people suck in many places. It sounds like you’d get that everywhere, even where the people don’t suck, so maybe don’t blame other people just yet. The food in Belgium is universally highly rated, it sounds like you might not know where to order or – again – the people you rub the wrong way might just have fucked with everything you ordered. You sound insufferable is what I’m saying. Belgian beer? Universally lauded. The women here might be shit if you’re gay and in denial – I don’t judge. Maybe the caves and basements you hung out at had shitty lighting, I don’t know. I don’t know about other guys, my micropenis is totally fine. I don’t know why you put nationalistic between apostrophes. Don’t they have quotation marks where you’re from? I hope you’re a “real” nationalistic keyboard warrior, and if you’re not I’m sure you know someone on 4chan who can knight you into it. Choke on your next reply, you misogynistic loser.

  38. Oxnard / Apr 3 2019 4:20 am

    Wow. I had no idea how much racism and bigotry correlated with mental retardation until I came upon this comment section.

  39. Hskxkd / Apr 16 2019 5:32 am

    Dude, everyone has is own culture.
    Don’t you know we think that you guys are weird to…..🙄😒

  40. Laszlo Toth / Sep 5 2019 7:05 am

    Honestly, it’s not even offensive, it’s just really dumb. I’m not even Belgian and don’t have a horse in this race. It just sounds like it was written by a high-schooler, someone who’s never left his hometown. It’s only funny if you have a seventh-grade level context of the world. You’re just not a very interesting satirist. 😦

  41. D-FENS / Dec 1 2019 8:32 pm

    Same silly old stereotypes as forever… this shit is funny only because it shows how simple the people who write this stuff are.

  42. Leon wlmn / Dec 15 2019 3:57 am

    fuck y’all dont say or write bad hate at a normal country
    the world strangest person on the entire world is who that write all this bullshit
    @hope you stop breth next mroning
    die in silence shithead and fuck your whore bitch doggy mom
    my middle finger on your head
    hope your brain stop working tomorrow

    sucker faggot your shit existence is a shame for everyone
    why you born
    if i could go back in time i fucked your mom to give you a fucking beter education stupid jerk
    lick your balls and drink arsenic
    i hope you die tomorrow fuckerr
    and spit on your nasty brained mom for me she need it

  43. Dead Dodo / Jul 10 2020 6:38 am

    as a belgian i can confirm all of this
    we really are a ridiculous country

    • Emmeh / Oct 7 2020 12:30 pm

      You are a ridiculous Belgian
      That’s a big difference
      Belgium is a cool place
      It’s just that Belgians learned to be not proud
      Stupid persons say stupid things

  44. garmendia / Nov 15 2020 5:44 am

    I agree they are freaks, weirdoes, without identity, that’s why being a few, you find Belgian people traveling or escaping from their country. They hate each other, its horrible.


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